i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
In America we eat man semen.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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