Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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