How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
