i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
