i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
