Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
