i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
