bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
