New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
