i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
