wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
