This girl is more easily done than said...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
