sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
this boner is exhausting
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
