apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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