i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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