oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
