shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
