There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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