She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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