I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
