He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize