he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
