Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
