Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
