Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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