Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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