Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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