My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
