No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize