so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
