he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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