Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
