No stitches, just platelets and will power
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
