The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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