I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
