I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize