Tell her she can't have a vagina
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
