That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
