Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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