I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
