in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
