is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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