I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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