i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
