Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
