If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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