when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
