Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
