She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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