Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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