Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
