break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
