no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
