The maid of honor just puked.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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