i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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