im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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