I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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