just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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