Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
