Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
