I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
As shirtless as possible
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
