I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
