I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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