i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
this will be a night to untag.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
