Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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