Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
