someone owes me an orgasm
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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