I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
