I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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