i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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