I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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