Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
