Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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