Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
