...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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