i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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