You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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