I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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