But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
