Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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