She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
