It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize