Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize