My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
